after eight years.

May 18, 2014

How time flies. I decide to open this account again to document our upcoming trip, and I see all these previous entries. It seems like lightyears away, but at the same time as if it was just yesterday.

Let’s see how different things will be now, or will they stay the same?


I have been on a journey for the past 5 or 6 months. A journey to find myself. A journey to find my heart. This journey I took on willingly, not knowing the perils I would face or the things I would lose onceI stepped out into it. There was a job I left behind, a person I love that I hurt, and a ministry that I enveloped myself in for all the selfish reasons. I could say I was looking for God.But He found me first. He took all the things that kept me comfortable and disrobed me of all the things that kept me secure. He took the things I was proud of, the people I was with and the activities I did to make myself secure, and most of all, He took away the person I loved.He did this, so I could have Him back. And only when I was naked and weeping in the darkest corners of the night did I need Him like I always should have needed Him. Like air, like water and sunlight. Now I am on my way back, clothed in grace and His righteousness. My way back is also a journey, to take back the things I lost, and find them again, but this time,with a right heart.


July 28, 2006

“Henry David Thoreau once wrote: ‘Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit and resign yourself to the influences of each.'”

say something crazy.

July 28, 2006

there are some days when people ask you to do things a bit differently than planned. since neither outweighs the other, often times i agree. and now, at the end of the day, i wonder, had i not followed would things have turned out differently?

background: today i was supposed to go to the gym branch which is closer to my review school. but upon the insistence of my parents, i went to my more frequented branch. i don’t know why they insisted on me going to the further one, maybe that’s the beauty/tragedy of it.

upon arriving at the gym, out of the corner of my eye, i saw someone i knew from long ago. several emotions and mixed feelings surfaced. stuff i knew only a few people could do to me.

it’s been a long time. there’s definitely tension.

and then you question why.

why everything conspired for that encounter to take place. up until now, i still don’t know. i just hope that things will eventually fall into place, or accept that they already are.

looking back.

June 15, 2006

so today i try to start following the bible plan that’s emailed to me every day. i plan to go about it one step at a time, ergo, i’m planning to finish the new testament in a year. slow you might say? slow and steady wins the race. anyway, my thoughts and insights upon reading the very first chapter of the New Testament:

the New Testament starts off with the genealogy of Jesus. it is quite long but definitely packs a lot of punch. with abraham, isaac, and jacob as the opening ancestors. rahab, ruth, boaz, king david, and solomon in the middle. and of course Jesus for the grand finale. how can you go wrong? hahaha. (and i’m sure the others in between were also people of great faith to be included in God’s Word)

genealogys offer the background and origin of a person. it was the first thing mentioned in the NT, so it must be important, or worth knowing about right? but in this day and age, does ancestry still matter? with so many people making it on their own, without relying on family name, fortune, etc., does your history still have a say on your life and future? what does this mean to us now, in the 21st century?

i think now its not about looking back, but looking forward. not really looking in the past to define your future, but letting your present define your future. maybe even being at the start of the generation whose life is surrendered to Christ. being the abraham of your lineage. think about that.

and one more thing, just because some generations may side track, that doesn’t mean that the whole lineage is ruined.(same goes with other things in life)

life is never meant to be perfect, just lived with excellence.

O to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be!
Let thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.

today i watched the ever controversial da vinci code. it was interesting, definitely exciting. and of course thoughts about faith surfaced before i watched the movie. i actually read the book already, but i don’t remember the specific details. i remember reading it in a time when my faith was non existent. and i guess reading it even justified it more.

funny thing was, while i was watching the movie, it never felt like it was something real. it would be just like an normal movie wherein the events are possible, but unlikely to happen, and at the end of the day, it is fiction. not expected to be a source of facts. maybe some parts were, but the overall cohesive story is improbable.

so how’d it affect me? faith is not about institutions, traditions, or even religion. faith is based on a relationship. and no matter what other people do or say, faith does not change if you have a relationship with God. i know there are times that i may slip and fall, but the great thing is He’s always there to catch me.

and the show goes on.

May 19, 2006

literally 🙂 can’t wait for more one tree hill drama coming this fall. and hopefully by that time i’ll be able to download, burn and organize seasons one til three 🙂

other shows with a new season: desperate housewives and gray’s anatomy. hooray for good tv!